By: Joan Shrader

Life can be wonderful until it isn’t.

The sun was shining in a bright blue sky full of puffy white clouds tempting you to reach up to touch. The trees were just beginning to promise their fall colors of red, yellow and orange. The crispness in the air suggested a bountiful harvest and the merriment of fall festivals. 

Then the phone rang.

The Jay County Sheriff’s office was calling to inform me that my precious mother had been killed in a car accident and my dad was injured and in the emergency room at Jay County Hospital. I was advised to get there as soon as possible. 

The ensuing hours, days, weeks, and months are nothing but a blurry memory, even all these years later. 

Obituaries document the deaths of real people but they mask the very real emotional loss felt by survivors. Death impacts every person in every walk of life and in every part of the globe. We accept this as just the way of the world, until death happens to someone we dearly love. 

That’s why Grace United Methodist Church in Hartford City has adopted GriefShare (griefshare.org), a program of The Church Initiative, and is offering it as a resource to the community.

“GriefShare is there to help after the funeral when the cards and flowers have stopped coming and most of the people around you have returned to their normal lives. But your grief continues and you feel alone. Often, friends and family want to help you, but don’t know how. That’s the reason for GriefShare. GriefShare seminars and support groups are led by people who understand what you are going through and want to help.”  

Ron Branson, pastor of Grace United Methodist Church/Hope House in Hartford city says, “All churches have outreach programs, but one of the things Grace UMC in Hartford City has focused on is ecumenical outreach. Hope House, for example, is all about connecting folks from many different denominations to Jesus.  Grief Share fits squarely into Grace’s vision and ministry goals.”

GriefShare groups meet weekly for 13 weeks. Each meeting is 90 minutes to 2 hours long and consists of a video presentation followed by sharing and discussion. Every week, a different aspect of grief is introduced with titles such as “Is this normal?”, “Guilt and anger” and “What do I live for now?”.  The accompanying  journal/workbook is an important tool for taking notes during the video, and for personal reflection throughout the week. Usually, there is a $15 registration fee which covers the cost of the book, but if there are those for whom this is unaffordable, there are means to have that cost covered. 

Myra Smith led the original group in Hartford City. “A former member of our church had moved to Indianapolis and had then lost her husband.  She went to GriefShare there, and got so much out of it that she wanted the people at Grace UMC to know about it.  She purchased the first curriculum for the church.”

“At first I was reluctant,” says Myra. Finally, after being asked again by Jim Barry, the funeral director who was head of the pastor/parish committee at the time, she agreed. Over 100 people were served during the years that she led GriefShare. 

Today, the groups are led by Joan Shrader and Sharon Parker. Both have had to face grief and loss and want to help others manage what can be a disabling emotion.

Sharon’s husband, Rich, was well known in the community. He was a professor at Taylor University for many years, directed the choir and bell choir at Grace UMC and the Hartford City Community Choir. Rich passed away suddenly on April 17, 2014. Sharon says, “I really think that going to GriefShare was one of the best things I did after the death of my husband. It helped me see that what I was going through was normal and that others were experiencing the same feelings. I missed a few of the meetings so I went through the sessions a second time. Each time I learned more about grief and also about myself. “

The next GriefShare session begins in March 2020. For more information about the schedule and how to enroll, call Grace United Methodist Church at (765) 348-2801 between Noon and 4 p.m., Monday-Friday or or Joan Shrader at (765) 348-4379.